Dear Reader,
Salve! Today’s issue comes to you from Tuscany. As you’ll find with both club members and committee members, we never happen to be in the same place for too long (for a variety of undisclosed reasons), so it’s only fitting that our issues should follow suit. Today is all about La Dolce Vita, so whether you find yourself in Capri or tending to your neglected Cotswolds Orangery, we should have something for you. Firstly, though, some useful Italian phrases we at the club recommend you commit to memory.
‘Avere le Braccine Corte’ (to have short arms, meaning, ‘this person is so stingy his arms don’t reach his pockets’)
Incredibly useful when your friend refuses to order DOCG wines at the local trattoria and you want to explain their condition to the waiter.
‘Quanto costa?’ (how much?) quickly followed by ‘Potete offrire uno sconto migliore?’ (can you offer a better discount?)
Best used when trying to negotiate the pallet of Santa Maria Novella liquid soaps you want shipped back home for your various guest bathrooms.
‘Vorrei la bottiglia’ (I would like the bottle)
After having a bicchiere (glass) and deciding that it’s not enough to get you through dinner with the mutual friends you usually avoid in London but are somehow obliged to eat with whilst in Italy because you own places near each other in the same Tuscan hamlet.
‘Boh’ (I dunno)
Slang for ‘I don’t know’ and, when delivered in the right way, also says ‘I don’t give a fuck’.
‘Vaffanculo’ (fuck off/fuck you)
When someone takes the last pair of size 37 baby pink suede Gucci horsebit loafers you travelled specially to Florence for.
This is also a reminder that our April/May Book Club has been extended until May 26th! You can find all of the details here.
Breakfast, Lunch and Cena
A selection of some of our favourite Tuscan eats for when you happen to find yourself in the region.
Trattoria Sostanza (Florence) – A firm favourite of the club (even Rhubarb has dined here), Sostanza is the best of the best. Akin to walking into someone’s house and having them cook you the best home-cooked meal of your life. You share tables with strangers (it’s all very intimate and cosy), and you have to walk through the kitchen to get to the loo. You absolutely must order the butter chicken and be sure to call and book in advance as they do a limited number of sittings a day.
Osteria Il Grattacielo (Siena) – A small and unassuming hole in the wall in Siena that serves some delicious home-cooked food for a very cheap price. Make sure you order the chicken liver pate!
Hotel Hermitage (Florence) – HH is a quirky little hotel with a special white truffle menu (for those partial) and a tiny roof terrace that makes for the perfect lunch spot. As you can already guess, reservations are necessary but it’s the perfect place to spend an afternoon grazing on maccheroncetti alla rustica and drinking aperols.
Ristorante Storico Sabatini (Florence) – Strange soundtrack aside (last time we were there, they exclusively played Adele), Sabatini served us one of the best steaks we’ve ever had. The inside has floor-to-ceiling glass windows that showcase a winter garden and benches from a 14th-century deconsecrated church.
Dario Cecchini (Panzano, Chianti) – Dario, also known as ‘The Mad Butcher of Panzano’, is an 8th-generation butcher who has been practising nose-to-tail butchery for over 40 years. He has a number of restaurants (as well as a food truck) alongside his sandwich truck. The ‘Bistecca’ menu is the best 50 euros you will spend. You are sat next to strangers from all over the world in front of an open grill whilst one of the butchers cooks, slices, and serves every bit of a cow in front of you. House wine is included in abundance, but you are also welcome to bring your own. Their homemade ‘Chianti butter’ is unbelievably good and served from the jar alongside a baked potato (to take the edge off all the meat you’ve just consumed). To finish? Espresso, olive oil cake, and grappa alongside the rousing sounds of cheering and applauding.
Il Santo Bevitore (Florence) – Whether you’re looking for vino and nibbles or a full-blown meal, Il Santo Bevitore has an incredibly warm and rustic feel to each of its venues. The service is friendly, the food is delicious and varied, and the atmosphere is always electric. Perfectly situated for an aperitif before walking to Trattoria Sostanza for dinner.
Off Duty Italian
Whilst we wish we could live ‘off duty’ as though it were a permanent condition, we believe there is no ‘off duty’ more appealing than the Italian variety. For this section, we default to our Chairwoman, who is currently neglecting all of her duties to indulge in said lifestyle.
1. Sunday Somewhere Champagne Glasses – Anti-reflective with 100% UV protection…but remember that your eyes can be seen through these lenses, so do try and be more discerning with your judgy looks.
2. Chinotto – Necessary to rehydrate in between spritzes and bottiglie di vino.
3. Bershka Linen Trousers – The most versatile trousers that work for pool days, beach days, and ‘drinking at the local osteria’ days.
4. Soru Earrings – Handmade in Italy (but available to purchase in the UK), these beautiful earrings are the only accessory needed to compliment your tan.
5. Longchamp Le Plage Filet – A chic and simple staple for carrying all of your essentials.
6. Uniqlo Striped Linen Shirt – Best worn unbuttoned, cuffs rolled, with a bored expression on one’s face.
7. Missoni Turban – Because we at the club have yet to meet a Missoni accessory we don’t like.
8. Soru Ring – Add a splash of colour to your monochromatic looks.
9. Saint Laurent Tribute Sandals – Don’t tell me you’re still wearing your Orans, are you?
10. Reformation Linen Dress – A beautiful, flattering, and, most importantly, comfortable dress to swan around in.
Currently Reading…
Ola Olajide, a high-profile journalist at Womxxxn magazine, is marrying the love of her life in one month’s time. She and her fiancé Michael seem to have it all. That is, until one morning when they both wake up to the same message:
‘Oh my god, have you seen The List?’
It began as a list of anonymous allegations about abusive men. Now, it’s been published online. Ola made her name breaking exactly this type of story. But today, Michael’s name is on there.
Will the truth behind The List change everything for both of them?
Currently Listening To…
A classical and instrumental playlist to accompany my reading, otherwise, the ‘Real Americans’ audiobook for when I don’t want the physical labour of holding a book whilst on a sun lounger. Real Americans is a beautiful intergenerational Chinese-American story that questions what it really is that forms and shapes one’s identity.
Currently Watching…
Shōgun – a TV adaptation of James Cavell’s novel, Shogun is set in 1600s Japan and follows the stories of two men whose lives collide unexpectedly – Lord Yoshii Toranaga, who is fighting for his life as his enemies on the Council of Regents unite against him, and John Blackthorne, an English sailor who ends up shipwrecked in Japan. It is definitely a slow burner that requires all of your attention (as it is mostly in Japanese), but the effort is worth the payoff. An engaging and well-written show that is definitely worth your time.
Members are also reminded that the membership committee are still accepting applications. If you are looking to apply for Social or Private membership, you are encouraged to do so before all committee members realise they have better things to be doing.
